The ideal TV guide is going to tell you exactly which shows, sports, movies are going to be coming on at exactly the right time, give you a brief synopsis and or information on the show/ movie. This TV guide is on hand, easily accessible, able to tell you what you need to hear about your viewing, making the time in front of the image-box a more informed experience.
Generally speaking, TV guides are pamphlet-type things, sometimes booklets, sometimes a page of a newspaper. They tend to do their job pretty well. However, the best, most reliable and informative tv guide is not a piece of paper or booklet. The best TV guide around is the dedicated, enlightened couch potato.
An ordinary TV guide will provide the most basic information on any given show or movie. For example, if you felt inclined to watch a movie on a Sunday night, around eight o’ clock, you may want to check what your options are. A TV guide will say, of a film, for instance, that ‘Terrence Walker (Keanu Reeves) is an FBI agent, on the lookout for an Internal Affairs agent that he’s been tipped off about. He must confront his own past to deal with the shadowy menace that seems to be everywhere. Directed by Brett Hart, 1996. A solid action/thriller, one that goes down well with some popcorn and coke.’ Now, this tells you something about the movie that you may now be interested in seeing, but besides the name dropping, does it really give you a great comprehensive ‘guide’ to your viewing?
The couch potato is your best TV guide. Hours per day, honing their soporific skill, imparts them with a sage-like understanding of the tube. If the paperback TV guide is the Bible, than the couch potato is the Prophet himself. He is the one who climbs the mountain, in a meditative stupor, abstaining from all food and drink save for microwave lasagna and cola.
If you were to ask about the evening’s entertainment, perhaps about whether the Keanu Reeves film is any good, your couch potato TV guide will give you a poetic answer, one that strangely cuts right to the heart of the matter, like a koan or proverbial verse. The best TV guide will always be the couch potato.